So today was the monthly “I’m super excited because my people brought home a new bag of food for me” puke. This type of puke happens about every time Ropy gets a new bag of cat food. This time he was so excited, he tried to climb into the rubbermaid container that Sara was dumping the new bag of food into. So anyway, he inhaled some food, came upstairs to our bathroom and starting the initial dry heave process on a rug. Sara quickly grabbed the rug, pulled it back and nudged the cat off of it. He immediately ran to the only other rug in the bathroom and yarfed up breakfast. What a worthless s.o.b.

Download link

Not seeing the video? Get the Adobe Flash Player plugin…

In the early waking hours today I heard the unmistakable sound of Ropy’s full body heaves.  I said to myself “screw it, Sara can deal with her cat when she gets home from work”.  Sara called me when around 7:30 am as usual so I told her that she had a surprise from that cat waiting for when she got home.  Sara wondered where he puked.  I hadn’t even bothered sitting up earlier when I heard him barf so I sat up to look.  I could partially see a pile of yarf on the floor past the foot of the bed.  As I reached my left hand out to push the comforter down so I could have an unobscured view to the floor, I soon realized I had just planted my hand in a second pile of puke (well…it was probably his first).  That was enough to get me out of bed.  The cat was no where to be seen.  I left the bedroom to go to the laundry closet to get some carpet cleaner and paper towels (for the comforter of course…the floor is still up to Sara).  As I passed the stairway, I saw the S.O.B sitting at the bottom of the stairs, glaring up at me.  I threw the closest item at hand at him (I think it was Ralph leash)…sending him into hiding.  Please tell me again why I haven’t killed him yet.

Ropeburn made yet another failed assassination attempt on me last night.  This time he decided to try to kill me via a fall down the stairs.  Ropy silently laid on the top step of the stairs in the dark.  When I say “top step”, I don’t mean at the top of the stairs.  He was one step down…so he could hide in the shadows.  As I went up the stairs towards bed, his plan went into action.  Sacrificing his body to kill me, Ropeburn allowed me to step on him in an attempt to make me fall down the stairs to my imminent death.   You failed today Ropeburn….you failed today.

So spring has finally sprung.  The birds are chirping and Ropy’s sitting in a window smelling that fresh spring air.  And then…..BLAAAAAA.  “Too much spring air….must expel it as soon as possible.”  Rotten S.O.B.