Ok…this has to be one of the weirdest (or stupidest) cats ever.  A little background first.  Ropy loves tuna.  It’s the only non-catfood thing that he’s even interested in.  As soon as you get a can of it out, he’s howling at you to let him lick out the can.  Sometimes we add tuna to a fine box o’ mac and cheese as well.  It’s gotten bad enough that if you just make plain mac and cheese, he throws a damn fit.  Well the other day, I decide to mess with him a bit and give him a can of cream of mushroom soup.  Sure as hell, dumb ass cat decided to lick it out.  What a frickin’ weirdo. 

So spring has finally sprung.  The birds are chirping and Ropy’s sitting in a window smelling that fresh spring air.  And then…..BLAAAAAA.  “Too much spring air….must expel it as soon as possible.”  Rotten S.O.B.

Ropeburn made yet another failed assassination attempt on me last night.  This time he decided to try to kill me via a fall down the stairs.  Ropy silently laid on the top step of the stairs in the dark.  When I say “top step”, I don’t mean at the top of the stairs.  He was one step down…so he could hide in the shadows.  As I went up the stairs towards bed, his plan went into action.  Sacrificing his body to kill me, Ropeburn allowed me to step on him in an attempt to make me fall down the stairs to my imminent death.   You failed today Ropeburn….you failed today.

In the early waking hours today I heard the unmistakable sound of Ropy’s full body heaves.  I said to myself “screw it, Sara can deal with her cat when she gets home from work”.  Sara called me when around 7:30 am as usual so I told her that she had a surprise from that cat waiting for when she got home.  Sara wondered where he puked.  I hadn’t even bothered sitting up earlier when I heard him barf so I sat up to look.  I could partially see a pile of yarf on the floor past the foot of the bed.  As I reached my left hand out to push the comforter down so I could have an unobscured view to the floor, I soon realized I had just planted my hand in a second pile of puke (well…it was probably his first).  That was enough to get me out of bed.  The cat was no where to be seen.  I left the bedroom to go to the laundry closet to get some carpet cleaner and paper towels (for the comforter of course…the floor is still up to Sara).  As I passed the stairway, I saw the S.O.B sitting at the bottom of the stairs, glaring up at me.  I threw the closest item at hand at him (I think it was Ralph leash)…sending him into hiding.  Please tell me again why I haven’t killed him yet.

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